Thank you for your continued prayers for Kim, the kids and the whole family. This is a trying time, but we know that the Lord is always at work in our lives, so our anxieties are lessened as we take time to seek Him. This happened for Kim on Saturday, because Lisa Carter (missionary that Kim is staying with) gave Kim that time she needed by taking all the kids out to some self serve car wash near a lake where the kids could help. Our kids were overjoyed to help and they all received 10 hrivna ($1.50) for doing it!
Actually it has been very good for Kim and the kids to be there because certain behavioral issues have come up, but because of the Carter's values and rules as a family matching our own, it has helped Kaitlyn and Broden to see how a family should work. They've had chores to do and there are strict rules about meals, such as eating salads first, eating everything on your plate and the mandatory everyone must try everything. Kim is finding that Broden has a really big appetite. At one meal "Brody ate a ton! 2 large chicken rizeks (like breaded weinerschnitzel, but chicken), 3 good helpings of potato salad, 2 breads w bologna/salami + cheese. Not long after he had more potato salad!!" Kaitlyn is beginning to try new things and even some things she previously said she didn't like. The Carter's 10 year olds (not twins) were adopted in the Ukraine and so this makes for a good mix, since they know Ukrainian and yet are American missionary kids too. "Kaitlyn, Brody and Ethan were all slow in eating so she said the last one done has to do an extra day of dish duty. Boy, did that light a fire under them all. Ethan does not like meat so he tried to speed up but was way behind to start so he lost. It was pretty funny to watch the whole thing. After the boys did the dishes (into the dw), we went to church and the kids went to kids church. They seemed to have a good time. Broden wants to come back next week. I guess I'm happy about that but I'd like to be home. It would seem that part of God's plan is the family thing and the chance to go to church in their mother tongue. It is worth it if God uses it to plant seeds or bring them to Christ. I feel it is a big sacrifice but I know it is nothing compared to what Christ sacrificed for me."
Kim went on to share some of the things the Lord is showing her in the midst of this trying time. I too would echo that the Lord is pruning me during this time. He's also showing us some of the areas that will be difficult to deal with, but will be necessary to instruct and be firm about, (flippant apologies, impatience, rude comments to each other, swearing, tattling and whining, etc.). As a result of some poor behavior and attitudes, Kim brought Lisa in to translate her straight to the kids. They seemed to listen to this. Lisa runs a tight ship at home and it helps Kim a lot to be able to talk fully and straight to them, even though it's being translated. It has eased her mind to have that option. We have to get them doing well in English in a hurry. As we wait on the blood test and the next steps afterwards, it is good to be able to see that this delay is actually helping with their transition and the Lord has orchestrated and revealed some of the things we need to be praying about and dealing with.
On Monday I spoke with a lawyer from National Immigration Law Center and although she doesn't specialize in these cases, she said that lately the government is trying to process waivers related to HIV in a more speedy fashion than ever before. So we remain hopeful. The embassy reiterated to me that they have received word from their contacts at these two agencies that they (the CDC in Washington and USCIS in Moscow) will handle our waiver in the most expeditious way possible. I am also in contact with various HIV/immigration lawyer centers that have given me help in knowing what to expect related to this waiver and what I can do on this end.
Please pray that the blood test will be performed on Tuesday (it requires other patient's tests to warrant doing ours and there must be some magic number to make it happen). This seems to be the biggest holdup right now as the embassy can't move on the waiver until this specialized blood test is performed to establish to the greatest detail that he has HIV. One encouraging note was that the medical clinic in Kiev told Kim that if he's had it all his life and has done well thus far, then sometimes, but of course no guarantees, it has happened that HIV and its symptoms have just disappeared. Wouldn't that be nice? Each time he's been tested this year it has been positive. Only the Lord who is shown in the Word to be the Great Physician, knows fully and could do that. We are total amateurs in all this, so we've not heard of that before. We can trust Him. Please continue to pray that we can get him home and into a doctor for the tests he needs so that new prescriptions can be filled. He only has medicine until January 3rd and it's the holidays too, so who will see him during the holidays? We'll take one step at a time I guess. Thank you for your continued prayers for us. One other item: Kim and the kids can only stay with the Carters until 12/17, which is a two week mark that we all originally thought this would be. Please pray for the Lord to open another situation for her if she must be there longer.
1 comment:
Hello - I just discovered your blog. My cousins adopted two darling young sisters from Ukraine about two and a half years ago, and while the adjustment period was a bit challenging, all is going extremely well now. I hope your situation will work out equally well. You are certainly facing a variety of stresses now, but obviously your strong faith is seeing you through.
One thing - the various less-than-desirable behaviors your children are exhibiting at present may be largely fear-based. They are dealing with so much change now, and will have even more new things to experience once they're home. That can be very, very scary for children.
It helps that they have each other, and being with your friends who speak their language and have similar standards and expectations to yours was invaluable to help with mutual understanding.
Rather than focussing on correction and proper behavior at this time, you might want to work on understanding, attachment, acceptance, affection, and reassurance. The rest will follow, as the children will learn first to trust you, then want to please you, and ultimately to love you.
My cousins went through a spell of "Ya ne boo do" ("I don't want to") in response to everything with their elder daughter (then nine) when their girls were first home - a little gentle joking worked wonders, when they "misunderstood" that she did not want one of her favorite foods, and repeated "Ne boo do??" to her. "Nyet, boo DO!!" was her response ("no, I want it!"). Then light dawned - she giggled a little - and that was the end of that. The girls still have their moments on occasion, but they are thriving now.
Also, flash cards helped a great deal with communication at first, and simple English picture dictionaries were also helpful.
Your children sound delightful, despite the initial bumps - I do hope all the red tape can be cut through and that you'll soon be home.
Best wishes,
Susan in Ky
Cousin to Two from Ukraine
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